I’m starting new

Okay here it is, I never considered writing a blog and yet now I’m doing it. I’m still thinking German or English, German or English. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter too much as long as you like my blog 🙂

Yes I’m starting new, what does it mean and how come that I decided to start new? Not sure if it is a real new start and still it feels for me like it. I try to start at the beginning – don’t worry not when I was born but when I fell in love with travelling.

I have been in Australia in 2012, yes that’s actually when it all started. My journey to Australia changed my life once, I was about to turn 31 and needed change in my life, so I thought why not going to OZ for a year with the last chance for a working holiday visa so I did it. I had a great time, man I even wish sometimes today I would have done that while I was a bit younger to had the chance to experience it a bit longer but I didn’t. I did it in my own time and it was great. My year in OZ went quicker by as I thought and I ended up travelling a month in Thailand and then back home in Heidelberg/Germany. Heidelberg, my beloved hometown, with my family and friends but it didn’t feel like it anymore, I wanted more….

I always wanted to live in London. So that’s what I did, found a job and moved to London. London I love you and still 4 years later I love you but I miss so much. I miss my family, I miss travelling and all in all I feel like I need to move on to do something different. The thing is I had a rough time at the end of last year/beginning of this year and I just wanted to run away just leave everything behind, nobody know but I felt lost and I still feel lost not fulfilled and especially I don’t feel settled anymore.  I turned 36. this year, maybe that’s why.. When I was younger I thought I would be married by now and have 2 kids. As you can imagine none of this exist, not even a boyfriend. I think I’m single for 4 years now – again me against the world. I just don’t have luck with man, that’s what I keep thinking and that’s why I want to run! Run away from everything and just enjoy the beauty of the world. Does it make sense – no it doesn’t but it does for me. In my head I think a man can fulfil me or make me happy but that does travel too and if I can’t have the one I have the other. Okay okay if I could have both that would be the best thing in the world but it is not the case. So I start new. A new life and new me. I’m trying at least.

First of all I don’t need a man to fulfil me, I can do this by myself. I can create happiness by myself and I do all the time – I don’t need anyone for that they can just top it up 🙂

So what’s new? First, I decided to go travelling for 3 month and then I decided I combine it with a move back to Germany. So here I am now. 3 month in the line before I finally moving back and 3.5 before I go to SE Asia. I can’t bloody wait, well at least for the travelling – I know for 110% that this is what I want to do –  I would love to do it forever but moving back home? Was this just a knee jerk reaction because I was a mess and I missed my family? Why do I suddenly questioning myself? I was so sure about my decision. I think I’m just scared to move back home but I’m actually really looking forward to it. There is no way back anyway, I will pack my stuff and move, go travelling and see what life has in it’s pockets for me 🙂